Chapter 43 Initial Training

On the training grounds of the Tianfu Supreme Academy, everyone's eyes widened when they saw the mecha Qingque and its matching sword released by Zhuang Yun.

"Zhuang Yun! What are you doing with this museum piece?"
"Not at all! This is my natal mecha!"
"This... can it even move?"
"Of course!" Zhuang Yun recalled what she had learned in the forbidden zone of the library.
"Armor-horse talisman, rise!" Zhuang Yun pinched a yellow talisman between her fingertips and assumed the five-hearts-converging-toward-the-sky posture inside the mecha cockpit.
Clang! The mecha "Qingque" suddenly grabbed the talisman paper with its mechanical arm and shoved it straight into the engine. The entire cockpit was instantly filled with the scent of burning cinnabar.
"Wait! That talisman is supposed to be pasted on the Shanzhong acupoint..." Before the words faded, the twenty-meter-tall mecha suddenly began doing a hopping zombie dance across the training ground, spewing eerie blue smoke from its joints.
"Zhuang Yun, it is moving indeed, but do you need me to pre-book a direct line to the Galactic Mortuary for you?"
Peng Yan laughed so hard she slapped the control console, while the holographic projection simultaneously replayed the slow-motion spasms of the mecha.
"Look everyone, the stiffness angle of these joints perfectly replicates the Qin Dynasty terracotta warriors unearthed from the Earth era!"
Instructor Deng's laser pointer snapped "crack!" against the top of Qingque's head: "Third warning! Burning paper trash inside the mecha energy chamber is strictly prohibited—"
The holographic screen suddenly popped up an error code in ancient seal script [Qian three continuous, Kun six broken], and Instructor Deng's eyes began to twitch wildly: "Logistics Department! Immediately install the 《Interstellar Civilization Protection Regulations》 translation plugin for this mecha!"
Zhuang Yun defended herself, saying: "Teacher, this is the Zhengyi sect's thunder magic..."
The mecha suddenly dropped heavily onto one knee facing the moon, and a crisp, well-articulated mechanical voice rang out in the cockpit: [Ancient sacrificial program detected, now playing the accompaniment track of "Memorable Tonight"]
Gander-like honks suddenly echoed back and forth across the preparation room.
The maintenance worker wiped away tears of laughter while recording: "It is recommended to rename the Qingque mecha to 'Interstellar Spirit-Exorcism Special Edition'."
"Ah! I still need some time to sync up with it!" Zhuang Yun let out a small sigh.
"Dujuan! Why didn't you help me?"
"Didn't you say so yourself? You still need to sync up!"
......
"Alright, class time has arrived. Today is gravity training!"
"Everyone must use standard-version mechas without exception!" To prevent certain people from pulling any more bizarre stunts, Instructor Deng quickly pressed the switch.
"Why is this thing so bizarre?"

Zhuang Yun clung desperately to the alloy wall of the gravity room.
Threefold gravity made her feel as though the Ten Kings of Hell were pressing down on her shoulder blades, and her snow-white Daoist robe, embroidered with Bagua patterns, currently looked exactly like a lead-filled sack.
"Pfft hahaha, look everyone!" A classmate slapped her thigh, while the holographic projection showed Zhuang Yun crawling toward the control console using all four limbs.
On the silver-gray wall, thirty holographic screens simultaneously broadcasted the comical sight of Zhuang Yun sticking her butt out and stuffing a yellow talisman into the ventilation duct—
The talisman paper bearing the "True Form Map of the Five Sacred Mountains" was being blown back and forth, flapping aggressively against her face by the circulating airflow.
Bursts of laughter instantly erupted in the training room.
"Quiet!" Instructor Deng tapped his optical computer, though the corners of his mouth could not stop twitching.
"Student Zhuang Yun, please cease your... performance art. There are no evil spirits in the gravity room, you only need to..."
Before he finished speaking, the surveillance screen suddenly burst into a blinding red light.
Zhuang Yun had somehow managed to crawl to the control panel, and her cinnabar-stained fingertips were pressing right onto the emergency brake button.
In an instant, a mechanical female voice exploded: "Warning! Gravity parameters abnormal, 10x gravity loading—"
"Mysterious ancestor of heaven and earth, root of ten thousand qi!" Zhuang Yun executed a swallow-style flip, shedding her Daoist robe as eight copper coins embedded themselves into the floor with a tinkling sound.
Pale golden spiritual energy surged from her dantian, actually forming a transparent qi shield stretching three feet around her body.
The training room fell instantly dead silent.
Teacher Zeng Yuan's energy drink dropped to the floor with a "clack," the orange liquid trickling along the floor cracks right up to Instructor Deng's polished military boots.
"This is impossible..." Instructor Deng's hand shook as he stared at the monitoring data. "Tenfold gravity equals twenty tons of pressure, yet her bone density clearly..."
In the holographic screen, Zhuang Yun suddenly sat cross-legged and fished out a bronze alchemy furnace from her Qiankun pouch.
The moment the Samadhi True Fire flared up, the gravity room's fire suppression system finally failed.
Twelve sprinkler heads simultaneously burst open with high-pressure water jets, and the crimson water mixed with cinnabar coalesced into a vortex in the zero-gravity state, rolling Zhuang Yun into a spinning Taiji ball.
"Cut off the power immediately!" Instructor Deng's roar resounded through the corridor, mixed with a chorus of alarms.
"The fire suppression system is clogged with cinnabar! Who told her you could do alchemy in a gravity room?!"
When the maintenance robot pried open the smoking hatch, everyone saw Zhuang Yun using a peach-wood sword to skewer a pair of scorched trousers.
"Immeasurable Heavenly Honored Virtue." Zhuang Yun wiped the black soot from her face and fished a pitch-black pill out of the alchemy furnace.
"Fellow armored Daoist, would you like to try the Daoist priest's water-avoidance pill?"

Instructor Deng: ...... "Resume mecha synchronization rate testing."
Instructor Deng's electronic whip snapped sharply against the door of Zhuang Yun's mecha cockpit.
Through the blast-proof glass, Zhuang Yun could be seen using a peach-wood sword as a control lever, with the hem of her Daoist robe jammed inside a hydraulic cylinder.
A piercing alarm suddenly blared inside the mecha cabin, and the holographic screen flashed a bright red warning: [Unknown external device detected!]
Three sticks of incense were found stuck directly into the cooling vents, their blue smoke weaving through the gaps of the circuit board right into the main control chip.
"Zhuang Yun!" Instructor Deng shouted: "That is a neural interface worth three million stellar coins, not an incense burner!"
The mecha suddenly twitched and broke into a mechanical dance, leaving Zhuang Yun bound tightly like a human rice dumpling by her safety belt.
When the maintenance team once again pried open the smoking cabin door, everyone saw Zhuang Yun arranging a Bagua array with copper coins.
Five packets of popping candy tumbled from the cuffs of her Daoist robe, sparking and crackling into green fireworks under the static electricity—leftover snacks she had stashed away yesterday.
Zhuang Yun was suddenly plastered against the wall by the mecha's deployed airbag, still gripping half a piece of unfinished glutinous rice cake in her hand. "This mecha must have been cursed by a Taotie!"
The next day, a new school rule was added: Bringing peach-wood swords into the mecha warehouse is prohibited, and glutinous rice cakes are classified as Class-A hazardous materials.
"Now, let us learn the emergency evacuation procedure!" Instructor Deng suppressed his anger and continued the lesson, "Remember the three steps: fasten the safety belt, activate the cushioning gel, press the red..."
Zhuang Yun suddenly poked her head out of the escape pod, holding a bronze compass: "There is evil qi in the Xun sector here, let the Daoist priest use black dog blood..."
"That's the air conditioner vent!" Student Su Qingtian screamed, grabbing Zhuang Yun by the belt as twenty packets of popping candy scattered like heavenly flowers from the layers of her Daoist robe.
An alarm suddenly wailed.
It turned out that Zhuang Yun had pasted a peace talisman directly onto the pressure sensor, causing the escape pod to misjudge the situation as a "collision with space debris," and all eight thrusters fired blue flames simultaneously.
The pod carrying Zhuang Yun shot out of the training room like a rocket, carving a serpentine trajectory down the corridor before finally crashing nose-first into the cafeteria's automated noodle-vending machine.
When everyone rushed over, Zhuang Yun was prying open the cabin door with her peach-wood sword.
Strawberry jam, which she had mistaken for "black dog blood," coated the observation window, and every three seconds the escape pod chimed mechanically: [Jam attack detected, initiating cleaning mode]
High-pressure water jets washed Zhuang Yun into a drowned rat......