Chapter Twenty-Four: I Want to Eat! (Please add to your library and keep reading!)

A bolt from the blue!

Shao Feichen’s smile was still plastered on his face, but his soul had already left the building. If this were a 2D animation, he would have turned entirely gray, with diagonal lines of rain trailing down one side of his body and tiny, crackling lightning bolts flashing above his head as he split in two. The phrase "joy begets sorrow" had just manifested in the most literal sense.

"Hahahaha!" Gong Zhengci, who loved nothing more than a good show, burst into laughter.

"Damn it, you’re actually mocking me?" Shao Feichen’s anger shifted targets. He extended a claw toward Gong Zhengci. "Do you want to see if I’ll wait until you’re asleep again and trick your brother into turning into a turtle shell so I can sharpen my claws on it?"

"Oh, so it was you! I knew those claw marks on the shell were your doing! You denied it last time, but now you’ve admitted it, haven't you?" Gong Zhengci retorted, putting up his guard.

"Enough, both of you stop arguing!" Gu Sihui commanded. She looked at the bickering pair, her expression stern. "Do you know what you need to do now?"

Ying Nian, Gong Zhengci, and Shao Feichen all looked at her with eyes as clear as they were empty.

Teng Qu glanced at the form in his hand, then at the "Life-Saving Agreement" in Gu Sihui’s hand, and sighed. "Isn't it obvious? The only way to get a divorce is to please her."

"Don't put it so harshly, little snake," Gu Sihui said with a brazen laugh, pouting. "This is so we can all work together toward a better life."

Teng Qu glanced at her but said nothing. Although the current Gu Sihui seemed a bit strange, she was still better than the one who had constantly tormented them before. If she could keep this up, staying wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

***

It was already late when they set off. The hazy moonlight filtered down, and the night breeze carried a chilling bite.

"Gurgle—"

Gu Sihui’s stomach growled again. She bypassed Ying Nian, the "master of dark cuisine," and looked at the others. "Does anyone here know how to cook?"

Teng Qu stayed silent, retreating into the shadows.

Shao Feichen pondered for a moment and replied solemnly, "I can’t cook, but I’m an expert at eating."

A vein throbbed on Gu Sihui’s temple. Unable to hold back any longer, she hissed, "Tree, whip him!"

"Whack! Whack!"

The great tree obeyed, lashing out twice at Shao Feichen’s backside.

With only Gong Zhengci left, Gu Sihui looked at him with hopeful eyes. "What about you?"

"If you aren't afraid of dying, I have no objections," Gong Zhengci said, throwing up his hands. He thought for a moment and added, "Though Gong Zhengqing probably knows how."

"Then what are you waiting for? Let the little turtle out!" Gu Sihui ordered.

"Tch."

Before Gong Zhengci could respond, Gong Zhengqing took control, emerging in his place. He reached out to Gu Sihui and said, "There should be some simple food in the backpacks provided by the terminal. I can heat them up."

"There’s actually something good in there? Why didn't you say so?" Gu Sihui glared at her three beast-husbands.

Shao Feichen and Ying Nian looked away, feeling guilty. Teng Qu quietly explained, "It’s been so long since we came here, I forgot."

Gu Sihui opened the backpack and found two tents, a large jug of purified water, and a small silver box.

"Can this really hold food?" Gu Sihui asked, eyeing the small box with deep suspicion. She opened the lid and pulled out a laboratory test tube. Inside, a creamy white liquid sloshed about.

What was this? Gu Sihui was confused, but the others showed no doubt, their expressions as accustomed to this as breathing.

Gu Sihui held her tongue, but when she saw Gong Zhengqing casually heat up a pot of water and prepare to drop the test tube into it, she couldn't take it anymore.

"What are you doing?" she asked, stopping him.

"Cooking," Gong Zhengqing replied, looking puzzled but sincere.

"C-cooking?" Gu Sihui gave him an "are you serious?" look.

"Isn't this what we always eat? What’s wrong with you?" Shao Feichen looked at her strangely. He picked through the tubes, chose a brown one that looked like soy sauce, cracked it open, and drank it. He smacked his lips and said, "As expected, I still prefer the braised pork flavor. It tastes good cold, but even better heated up."

He tossed a tube to Gong Zhengqing. "Heat this one up for me."

"You’re calling this stuff 'braised pork'?" Gu Sihui held the soy-colored tube between two fingers and looked skeptically at the creamy white one. She hesitated, "That one, wouldn't happen to be rice-flavored, would it?"

"Of course not." Shao Feichen patted Gu Sihui on the head, muttering to himself, "She’s not even feverish, why is she talking nonsense? This is clearly steamed bun flavor!"

Gu Sihui: ...

Gu Sihui swatted his hand away and slammed her hand on the table. "I want to eat! Real food!"

"What's the rush? We're making it for you now, aren't we?" Shao Feichen replied smoothly. He turned to Gong Zhengqing, "Hurry up, can't you see she’s about to mutate from hunger? Get her a portion."

"I don't want this! I want real food!" As soon as Gu Sihui finished, she noticed the way her beast-husbands looked at her had changed.

"Can you stop being so difficult?" Shao Feichen’s eyes were filled with undisguised disgust.

"Heh, I knew she couldn't keep up the act for more than two minutes," Ying Nian sneered.

"What are you talking about?" Gu Sihui felt aggrieved. "I just want to eat a meal; why are you all being so passive-aggressive?"

"The kind of food you're talking about, we can't make," Teng Qu emerged from the corner and told her. "Before the Beast God descended to save the world, the art of cooking had already been lost. To survive, Mr. Cui used reagents to create nutrient solutions to provide our daily nutritional needs."

Cooking had been lost?

"But didn't we eat normal food at Duke Devon’s place?" Although it was a little bit terrible. Gu Sihui asked, puzzled, "If cooking was lost, who made that?"

"The nobility always keeps a few scattered, ancient manuscripts, and they cultivate groups of private chefs," Teng Qu answered.

"If you really want to eat it, it’s not impossible."

The familiar, rebellious voice sounded. Gu Sihui rolled her eyes and looked up. "Gong Zhengci, why did you come out again without saying a word?"

Gong Zhengci ignored her and continued, "The Bai Nanyan you hate so much actually has decent skills. When we lived at home, we could often smell the aroma of food wafting from her place."

As he spoke, memories flooded into Gu Sihui’s brain.

Before the scent of food started drifting from Bai Nanyan’s house, the original version of the woman she had possessed never made a fuss about food, dutifully consuming the nutrient solutions. Then, one day, a strange, mouth-watering fragrance began to drift from Bai Nanyan’s home.

The original owner was curious, but before she could even ask what it was, Bai Nanyan had arrived at her doorstep with a pot of fragrant egg-fried rice, flaunting it. The original owner had desperately wanted to eat it, but, provoked by Bai Nanyan’s blatant showing-off, she flew into a rage, slammed the door in Bai Nanyan’s face, ordered her beast-husbands to start a fire to cook, and smashed all the nutrient solutions in the house, forbidding her husbands from eating them as well.