Chapter 37: Not Interested in Romance

After finishing his sentence, Jiang Ji watched Shen Suining’s confused expression and deliberately let out a heavy sigh.

"I am truly heartbroken," he said. "Sui Sui didn't notice me at all, which left me feeling frustrated for quite a while."

Shen Suining became even more flustered. She offered an awkward smile and said, "I was only focused on my performance at the time; I didn't pay attention to anything happening offstage."

Shen Suining was not lying. When she was dancing on stage, she had been entirely engrossed, ignoring everything in the audience. The only reason she had noticed Jiang Runlang was that after the performance, during the curtain call, he had shouted out loudly from the audience, causing her to look in the direction of his voice. Therefore, she was not deceiving Jiang Ji.

Jiang Ji was not bringing this up to settle old scores. He gently stroked her cheek and said, "Come to think of it, it was my fault. I shouldn't have been so hesitant back then. I had already lost my heart to you, yet I didn't want to drag you into the chaos of the Jiang family."

His original intention was to protect Shen Suining, but he hadn't expected that this would instead provide an opportunity for Jiang Runlang to pursue her fervently. It wasn't that Jiang Ji hadn't considered interfering to snatch Shen Suining away from Jiang Runlang, but at the time, he was caught between protecting his father and struggling against Jiang Zan; he was truly powerless. In particular, Jiang Ji was certain that if he had shown even the slightest interest in Shen Suining, Jiang Zan would have moved against her without hesitation. How could he bear to let his Sui Sui fall into such danger?

Because of this, Jiang Runlang’s side had actually been the safest place. Back then, Jiang Runlang’s feelings for Shen Suining were genuine. Thus, even though Jiang Zan despised her background, he accepted her as part of the Jiang family out of consideration for Jiang Runlang’s affection.

Upon hearing this, Shen Suining couldn't help but frown. "But I did fall for Jiang Runlang, didn't I?" If that weren't the case, why would she have been so full of joy when she married him after becoming pregnant?

At this, Jiang Ji was clearly choked for words. It was, quite obviously, a thorn in his side—a thorn he had driven into himself.

"That is why, Sui Sui, I regret it so much now," Jiang Ji said.

Five years. A full five years. Every single day, every minute, and every second he spent abroad, he was filled with regret. So, the moment his wings were strong enough and he could confront Jiang Zan directly, he returned to Ning City, back to Shen Suining’s side.

"Sui Sui, give me a chance to make it up to you, won't you?" he asked, his gaze sincere and intense. The burning fire in his eyes seemed as if it could pierce right through her heart. "It was my own arrogance that made me choose wrongly before. Now, give me a chance to fill in the void of these past five years, please?"

Shen Suining did not agree immediately. She pressed her lips together, her expression full of conflict. The long silence made Jiang Ji’s heart race. He began to feel nervous, unable to guess what she was thinking. For the first time, Jiang Ji felt completely unsure of himself.

He opened his mouth several times, wanting to say something—even if it meant lobbying her or using underhanded means to force her agreement. Yet, the words died on his lips. He could not bear to pressure her like that.

Finally, as if she had made up her mind, Shen Suining looked up at him. "Jiang Ji, I am surprised and touched by your feelings for me over the past five years. However, to me, you are still someone I have only recently come to know. I truly don't know how to respond to your feelings."

"For the past five years, I fell for Jiang Runlang because of his passionate pursuit. After I became pregnant, I always believed that the child was ours, and I married him with the intention of living out my life with him and our child."

At this point, Shen Suining’s throat tightened, and her eyes swelled. Her heart had truly been shattered. Not wanting Jiang Ji to see her emotions, she lowered her long lashes, hiding the fragility in her eyes. "I gave my heart away, but the result was nothing but disappointment. Jiang Ji, I don’t want to talk about love for a long time."

That was her rejection. Shen Suining took a deep breath, looked back at him, and added, "I will keep everything you’ve done for me in my heart. In the future, I will definitely repay you." But to love him? She truly felt she couldn't do it.

Jiang Ji’s hands, hanging at his sides, were clenched tightly. He had to struggle to keep from losing control. He couldn't hear a word of it; this was not what he wanted at all.

After a long while, Jiang Ji finally spoke. "Sui Sui, don't be so absolute in your rejection. Can we just take things slowly?"

Shen Suining shook her head, more firmly this time. "I just don't want to talk about love anymore." Jiang Runlang had left her covered in scars. She did not want to go through the cycle of budding hope and broken-hearted despair ever again. All she wanted now was to cure her grandmother and focus on her work.

Jiang Ji’s heart felt heavy and pained. Unable to restrain himself any longer, he gripped her wrist tightly and asked, "Sui Sui, you don't want me, and you don't want Yinuo either?"

Jiang Yinuo was her son!

Shen Suining’s breath hitched. Perhaps because of the blood connection, she truly could not bring herself to say she didn't acknowledge Jiang Yinuo. Jiang Ji had easily pinpointed her soft spot. In that moment, he was immensely grateful that the bond of Jiang Yinuo existed between them.

Seeing her hesitation, Jiang Ji pressed his advantage. "Sui Sui, give me a chance, will you?"

Shen Suining could hear the tremor in his voice. "But this is very unfair to you," she said. Even though it sounded hypocritical—given that she had already accepted so much of his help yet still had the audacity to say such things—she couldn't help but loathe herself. But she had firmly decided to remember everything he had done for her and strive to repay him in the future.

Jiang Ji didn't let her continue. His gaze darkened as he looked at her and asked, "So, Sui Sui, are you planning to withdraw your intention to divorce Jiang Runlang?"

If that was truly what she thought, then he would stop at nothing to keep her by his side. He would make it crystal clear to her that his previous words had not been a lie.

Shen Suining was startled by his gaze. She couldn't help but wonder if this—the man in front of her right now—was the real Jiang Ji.